2. Pedophilia seen from my perspective

2. Pedophilia seen from my perspective 

Since I became aware of my own sexuality (somehow between 11 and 12 years of age), I have always liked younger more{*} than older girls. When I was in the sixth/seventh grade of primary school, I remember looking at the first/second grade students and sometimes wondering if this was normal. At that time, it wasn't a nuisance to me yet, although I already clashed with a slight ostracism when I told the school pedagogue about it...

{*Many women even a little older than me I like too. To illustrate you my sexual taste, I'll say that the prettiest (mature) girls for me are those that look like the ones from the "Seniorita" video by Pezet-Noon. Everyone has a slightly different sexual taste and a slightly different idea of perfection in it, but I think there are many more pedophiles than is commonly believed. And the 1-3% mentioned in the documents on the subject are, in my opinion, only those who, like me, have failed to cope with this part of their sexuality mentally and to find their "other half" and, in a similar way to me, the "fight against pedophilia" has ruined their lives... Or worse, they themselves ruined it for the children around them... All the rest is not in any statistics, because they pushed it out of consciousness as they grew up, as "unhealthy unwanted admiration..." and now they would deny it even under oath...}

"The fight against pedophilia" campaign, as I remember, did not start to grow until the end of the twentieth century, with the advent of the Internet. Trying to find myself in it, at first I tried to fit in somehow, falling for the "good intentions" of this campaign.

The whole problem, however, was that I couldn't stop identifying with pedophilia, seeing the beauty in little girls. But, of course, I managed not to commit any crime, commonly referred to as "pedophilia", even though my emotional immaturity made me lonely for almost my whole life (not only in sexual relationships...) and I had to deal with it myself. Although, as a child, I was sexually overactive and was a nuisance to my friends, it wasn't particularly pathological, and I grew out of it before I finished primary school.

After reading "the Little Prince" page {*} I realized that this whole "fight against pedophilia" hurts people like me because it takes away our ability to express ourselves freely in our own sexuality. (and any real debate, which effectively prevents us from understanding each other) I disagreed with Bear - the creator of this site from the very beginning, regarding his division into "positive" and "negative" pedophilia, as well as regarding what he wrote about "pedoholics".

{*The Bear pedophile's website ("the good side of pedophilia and child sexuality"), which has given rise to a rather strange and unique law that prohibits the promotion of so-called "pedophile content"... More on this subject in chapter 7.}

However, I liked the idea of the site itself and also discovered an alternative to child pornography (from which I always tried to stay as far away as possible) in the form of pages with little photomodels, which I started to visit regularly and collect such photographs. (I have always preferred these looking at least quite innocent, because the licentiousness in such photographs has always annoyed me... but even leaving aside moral considerations, I feel that such a thing simply destroys the natural beauty of girls...)

Regarding Bear's views: I think that pedophilia in itself is neither good nor bad, because it is only the perception of children's attractiveness.  Good or bad are individual people, regardless of their sexuality, and, unlike Bear I think as most of you do about any molestation of children, but unlike you (and him too) I don't call it "pedophilia".