4. The impact of "the fight against pedophilia" on pedophiles

4. The impact of "the fight against pedophilia" on pedophiles 


Generally speaking;
Yes, it can be assumed in advance that if someone abuse children, he is rather for sure a pedophile. (It is also clear that any such behaviour, and aware contributing to it, for example by supporting child pornography, are crimes that must be punished and eradicated...!) However, it is not being a pedophile makes them criminals (besides, it makes no difference to the victims whether or not they are pedophiles), but calling them 'pedophiles', because of their crimes and these crimes - 'pedophilia' - inevitably contributes very much to the creation, reproduction and breeding of this pathological phenomenon!

And by the way, to ruin the lives of everyone like me...

In order to finally break down the arguments that I 'stick to the words', that I don't harm children; such as me "aren't classic pedophiles" or "that pedophilia isn't deepened in them" and all that kind of crap (...), I will now analyse precisely and thoroughly the impact of "the fight against pedophilia" on pedophiles themselves, as well as try to bring you a picture of a real average pedophile, using many years of thinking about the subject and a bit of my own experience.

At the age of around 13-15, when "the fight against pedophilia" was already developing and my addiction to masturbation was raging, I had very drastic and sadistic sexual 'fantasies' (I won't give away the details...). I didn't know where the reason for this was, but I often took part in it, even though already then on a conscious level my pedophilia was associated with empathy and desire to protect children.

I was already well aware of the harmfulness of "the fight against pedophilia" on my life. All my suicidal attempts at addiction and other harmful and shameful deeds, such as playing "the street boy", which ended with several sentences and a fourteen-month in jail{*} - all this was based on my inept attempts to find myself in this world, which feeling completely insecure and [even] potentially understanding me in my external perception of my sexuality, effectively prevented me .

{*For the sake of clarity, I know I deserved it. For all I've done, I've been punished fairly mildly anyway... This paragraph is not any 'excuse', but an attempt to illustrate the cause and effect relationship for you, because I am sure there are many similar stories and there will certainly be many as long as "the fight against pedophilia" continues.}

And it's not about accepting any of my erotic fantasies about children - as I've already written, I don't claim any 'rights' to children as a pedophile, but on the contrary, I condemn something like that. I simply mean to accept me as I am - a sensitive and empathetic man who did not choose his own sexuality, and yet always tried to act Humanly and try to find his way in this world, constantly and consistently telling him the "monstrosity" of his "deviation".

It wasn't until I got over my addictions taking thanks spiritual development (yoga, breathing exercises, etc.), I was able to look at the cause of my sick youthful fantasies. It was "the fight against pedophilia", which was exemplary in its function of telling pedophiles "the evil lurking in them".  Bombarding me from all sides when I was growing up, "what kind of pedophilia is terrible and disgusting", "what horrible deviants are pedophiles", "that pedophiles are only hurting children". -"fighting against pedophilia" was successful already on the threshold of my sexual awareness to make me such a monster, fortunately only in my visions...

A pedophile, growing up in today's world when he realizes his sexuality, is first confronted with an attempt to define himself in the context of "the fight against pedophilia". I am 1000% convinced that at this stage, among Humans, the overwhelming majority of pedophiles (~99.9%) try to cut themselves off from the "pedophile" created by the media.

..And not just outside, but inside. People generally have Human emotions, generally called empathy, which suggests to them not to harm innocent people, especially small helpless children. And here comes the first problem. An adolescent pedophile, instead of just cutting himself off from the pollution of children innocence  (as it should be healthy and normal), starts a clumsy battle with his own sexuality. He tries to renounce his own nature...

Christianity has also played its part here. The mainstream would not have fooled us into "the fight against pedophilia" if it had not first convinced us of the "sinfulness" of our nature and defiled our sexuality. (e.g. "immaculate conception"...) Here lies the overriding problem - Humanity instead of seeing in its sexuality something beautiful, creative, sensual... thanks to this "religion", sees in it "evil", which must be tamed and fought. {*}

{*If it wasn't the so-called "religions," there wouldn't be a "prohibition of faggotry" right now, and nobody would be molesting on anyone's sexuality. This is not only about public forums and homosexuals, or other differences, often called "deviations"... I am sure that currently in the overwhelming majority of relationships there is no absolute freedom and honesty about one's own desires or sexual fantasies...}

I don't mean, of course, that people like me should develop their sexual fantasies with children as long as they don't make it happen. It's hard to cut yourself off from what I know from my own experience, but every pedophile should tame it in himself, because it could be dangerous for him and of course for the children around him (because the line between fantasies and reality may blur). Generally, in my opinion, the most important thing here is to unlearn [dreaming] about sexual contacts with children themselves. {*}

{*I think there are two ways to both morally and safely realize libido for pedophiles who are lonely and masturbating to legal children's pictures. (Because from a spiritual (occult) point of view, is not insignificant what someone imagines, even if they don't materialize their own ideas, (especially during masturbation...)) The first one is "pure admiration", i.e. masturbation without imagining any contact with the child on the photo. The second is the use of children's photographs as avatars for sex-loving Goddesses, or your own thought-forms. I'm going to describe this topic in detail in a separate post, so now I'm going to write only that although it may seem stupid, meaningless or schizophrenic at first glance... but it's actually a much easier and safer way than the former... For those who are interested: you don't even have to believe in the existence of Beings with whom you will imagine having sex, as long as you learn to see in your preferred pictures those Beings (mature, conscious, independent, and ready and willing to have sex) and not the children (childish, unconscious and vulnerable) who are immortalized in it. For all readers I will add that this is something good, because it effectively unlearn the dreams/images of any touching [innocence] of children...}

Every pedophile should first of all realize that children do not need sex. {*} - Unlike what the Communists of Child Liberation or similar organizations say... They generally use a butterfly as their symbol, the symbolism of which, in my opinion, perfectly reflects the beauty of children. However, they seem to forget that the butterfly's beautiful wings must not be touched because it will damage its unique beauty. -And that's what this wonderful allegory is all about. The most beautiful thing in children is their innocence - and anyone mustn't destroy this beauty.

{*It's true that every being has a sexual need at every level of the needs pyramid, as Maslow put it. But the sexual need of children is realized in a slightly different way, for example by maternal caresses, or masturbation, which children must not be forbidden to do, nor teach in the same way (at least, to set a boundaries, for example, during public masturbation...) - they will find and cope with it themselves... -this is just this "germination"...}

Once a paedophile realizes his sexuality, the part of his fascination with children's beauty is usually hidden deep inside himself, leaving the "well perceived" side of it outside{*}. This does not become a big problem then, but it does leave the inconvenience of never being himself completely. (Which adult guy would now openly say that he loves to look at pretty little girls?) But of course he lives with it somehow - falling in love with his adult partner, never revealing his innermost fascinations, having his own children (who loves and respects what love involves - at least should...) and, of course, inexorably "fighting against pedophilia".

{*I think every pedophile has it and pedophiles who consider themselves "exclusive" * (means that they supposedly like only children), is the effect of psychological suppression. (as this is the case with pedophiles, who "fight against pedophilia" only that the reasons for the suppression in both these cases are as if opposite). Moreover, I think that every person has something in his or her sexuality that he or she is ashamed of, in the present Christian, Islamic, "street" or some contemporary (common) perception of it...}

The situation is worse when, as it was with me, pedophilia goes hand in hand with some emotional immaturity and, consequently, loneliness.

A pedophile who lacks relationships with people, during sexual adolescence, sinks into his own world of delusions and fantasies. Normally, as everyone wants to love and be loved, so sexual frustration appears, destroying such people from within.

In cases of feeling of complete social alienation, in my opinion, it is even impossible for such a person not to have any sexual perversion. It can range from sadomasochistic tendencies to, for example, some perverse or even disgusting fetishes... While the former is not currently associated with something very "perverted", it may take on drastic dimensions and have tragic consequences... {*}

{*More on this in the last chapter of this section.}

Normally, such a pedophile would talk to the first better psychologist or psychiatrist without even having theoretical friends and someone to talk to. And don't say by chance that we can do that now, because I personally tried with many. Some referred me to sexologists, frankly explaining that they are not experts in this field. But there were those who tried to pretend to be specialists and experts, clearly showing their reserve to me... Others, on the other hand (because such people also happened), tried to let me know that they were on my side, but that I wouldn't fight, because I won't win. "The cherry on the cake" was a psychiatrist who, on her second visit, told me official (dry) tone that she wouldn't call the police, but I wouldn't find any help from her because she don't deal with it... -So, translating into informal language: "fuck off, pervert, or I'll call the police!" Is this the way the doctor should do, who has the patient with the problem? Hmm...

In the current situation almost all pedophiles have to deal with their sexuality alone. Those who also remain alone in other aspects of society are forced to 'go crazy'. Drugs and alcohol (also ready-made solutions for artificially fuelled problems{*}) are such a first step to "deal with this problem", and indeed to annihilate oneself.

{*If you have any doubts, I recommend you get to see the cult youth films. Find me one where there are no drugs...}

There is a chance that the pedophile at this stage will still manage to stop destroying himself by finding his wife. If a lonely person has never managed to discover his "perverted" fascination, there is a good chance that he will manage to live a normal life while maturing. It is worse when, for example, he has persuaded himself to have sexual relations with children through such as Child Liberation organizations, and/or watching child pornography, accompanied by years of masturbation along with dreams of materializing his 'desires'.

When such a pedophile builds his own family, there is a very real danger that he will molest or even rape his children. Yeah, I'd say, they're divided into two parts. One are 'sexually impulsive', who suddenly explode with their 'needs', often terminally injuring their children (...). The others are "calculating strategists", who will quietly molest them for years, even in secret from their wife.

This is because, regardless of age, children experience sexual pleasure and when this is done without causing them pain, they are generally unaware of the harm that happens to them, which will appear as psychological sexual problems. Therefore, they will often be happy to 'play' this 'strange but quite pleasant fun', remembering that 'it's in secret from Mommy'{*}. Nowadays, in the growing up children who start to notice this harm, it is still strongly intensified by the feeling of being victims of "pedophilia"... Child Liberation and other organizations of this kind are right that "the fight against pedophilia" is in itself one of the causes (a kind of 'catalyst') of this sense of harm, but not the only one, as they claim...

{*Of course, molesting women do happen too, but they are much more likely to be men, because women are less likely to be pedophiles (as opposed to men, women generally prefer older partners, due to some general sexuality of our species. ), and even if they do not feel the social pressure of "fighting pedophilia" as men do ("monster-pedophile" is always a man...) and it does not make such a mess in their emotions (...). But personally, what I heard once on TV about some molesting "nuns" that "it's not as terrible as cases of pedophilia in church (...)", I consider absurd! I don't understand this "distinction"! - First of all, does it mean that if someone has no dick between legs, she does less harm to children by molesting them?! And secondly, how do you describe a woman's sexuality, which is attracted to children if not "Pedophilia"?!}

Even worse consequences occur when a pedophile remains alone and with a sense of social alienation also in adult life.
In such cases, people's sexuality is already starting to go totally crazy after. Looking for their way, they often come across some antithesis of "fighting against pedophilia", such as the communists from Child Liberation already mentioned above, which additionally confuses them in their heads. -"that in past it used to be possible...", "that today's bad world takes away Human rights from children (because it does not allow sex)"...etc., etc. On the other hand, all the time they feel bombarded by telling them "the horrors of their deviation". I would like you to understand that no one has become a pedophile by downloading child pornography, masturbating near a primary school, molesting children, or even more so raping them - that they felt a pedophiles, [those all over the world hated "deviants"], long before they even thought about breaking the law in this case. {*}

{*This kind of dehumanization is always a long process in which pedophilia, as one type of sexuality, plays only an indirect role. "Fighting pedophilia" has a much greater impact on this, and it is always directly responsible for the loss of brakes and ordinary morals, which is by no means called "pedophilia"... And it is not any "deepened pedophilia" either, because like other sex offenders, their perception of the objects of their own sexual fascination is not deepened, but Humanity is reduced...}

When the stimulants and long-term masturbation with the desire to realize their libido have already done their job, the second stage begins - the search for 'better' satisfaction. The sexual sphere of pedophiles left alone with it is like a hole that is constantly growing. -With no way to fix it (even talking to ANYONE about it), such a man starts looking for alternative experiences, because not only he feel lonely, he still feels stoned around the world as a pedophile, even though he hasn't done anything wrong. (at least yet)

The most common is the "crossing of sensations", i.e. combining masturbation with drugs. For example, I masturbated after amphetamine. During the longer abstinence from this 'entertainment' (sometimes I managed to do six months and more) I often told myself that "I love it and hate it". Almost every time I've been after... -with a bitten tongue, with cramps all over my body, with a macabre swollen (...), I promised myself that nevermore...!!! But every time this 'love', or the desire to satisfy oneself at all costs, prevailed over the reasonable hatred for one's own stupidity of destroying oneself... Did it give me any happyness?

Amphetamine works in such a way that you can do it for a very long time (but without an erection) and create for yourself an 'alternative world', which then seems to be more real than during a simple masturbation. Looking for stronger and stronger 'impressions', when I was close to the end of 'fun', I started to 'eat up' the amphetamine to extend it. My 'record' was about forty-eight hours almost continuously... And just to be clear: I don't boast - I mention it with disgust and horror, but I'm also extremely happy that by taking my spiritual development I have freed myself from it once and for all.

{Fortunately, I only hurt myself... So don't ask for details, because it's a completely closed chapter in my life that I don't want to go back anymore. Besides, if you're familiar with drugs, don't EVER try it! Now that I have discovered the joy of living in spiritual exercises, I am opposed to all drugs, especially such a poison as amphetamine, but taking it alone is not even half as destructive as with masturbation... These sleepless nights have led me to many suicide attempts, almost a complete toothache, almost a heart attack and complete insanity...}

I firmly believe that almost all paedophiles have empathy and doing any harm to children is completely against their inner principles. This is also because they are fascinated by the beauty of children. Isn't it a Human characteristic that we want the good and happiness of those whose beauty we admire? You tell me that the media are constantly talking about pedophiles which harm children. That's right, but I can assure you that it's not even a percentage, it's just a tiny little bit of a promille of all pedophiles. And just to be clear, I'm gonna explain to you exactly what the role of "the fight against pedophilia" is in the creation of this little promille.

In addition to the "crossing of sensations" there may also be an interest in child pornography. I mention that I consider something like this to be a registered crime, and those paying for it and masturbating to it, as the same criminals as those adult "actors" performing there...

{Generally child pornography as well as this "ordinary" is the antithesis of "immaculate conception." Like "religions", it exists to destroy the sexual nature of Human (creating an "alternative" pattern to 'holiest asexuality' - and you can choose what is 'better' for you... ), because it always shows something degenerate. This "ordinary" pornography denaturalizes the beauty of sex (naturally deeply emotional), 'mechanizing' it and reducing it to impassively copulating, and teaching harmful things like licking anus or putting a penis down throat (...) - this is in almost every pornography, and some go even further... Child pornography, on the other hand, degenerates the very essence of sex, as something conscious and voluntary, even if it is filmed in such a way that some pedophiles have the impression of joy and 'voluntary' of children participating in it.}

In my opinion, the main factor in the formation of these media "pedophiles" is to tell them that. -"pedophilia is a terrible deviation", "pedophiles aren't Humans" "Pedophilia is disgusting, terrible... and so is this." After all, some people as if to say 'crack'{*} and make these monsters out of themselves. The mixture of these curses and their own frustration is finally overwhelming them... Of course it's always their free will and you must never excuse anyone for 'being trapped', but I want to make you realize that as long as you "fight pedophilia", it's [indirectly] also your fault...

{*It's happening the same way as it is with the ad audience. Most people try to defend themselves against a suggestive attack by advertisers on their wallets, but there are those who fall into their traps... This suggestion is to tell pedophiles how terrible they are all the time. These media monsters, even after being castrated, will not stop being pedophiles. Other pedophiles who will never hurt any child will not escape from their pedophilia either. Certainly no one has ever managed to change their own perception of the objects of sexual fascination.}

It is simply statistically impossible for any of these seeds to grow; by casting so many curses on pedophilia you will not be able to create more monsters in this way. If you really want to make sure that no more childishly harmful pedophiles emerge by you, then stop casting these curses on us! {*} Give us a chance to show that we can also act in a Human way, always stigmatizing any sexual behaviour towards children, of course, but accepting that they can be beautiful for us, so that we don't feel like the monsters you want to see in us!

{*The trap of "fighting pedophilia" is in the words. Properly used words can have a powerful power to influence reality. The statement by the Egyptian God Toth that "In the beginning there was a word" (stolen by Christianity) refers to this. Words, strongly charged with emotions and directed towards a given goal; they can shape something (someone) or destroy it (like an idea in "Inception"...).
The first and most important word here is the word -pedophilia. In Latin it literally means "love for children". (The same Latin prefix that means child, contains words such as "pedagogue" or "pediatrician") However, de facto, it defines the fascination with the sexually beauty of children. That's all. I see nothing wrong with the fascination itself, and every Human being (not only pedophiles) can and should be in control of their libido.
The second point is the word "fight". If you want the world to normalize, so that your children are not afraid to walk on the streets, so that you become a community again and stop seeing enemies in you, you just have to stop fighting against pedophilia. But you wouldn't have to "fight" against child abuse in the normal world either. The police don't fight, they just catch and neutralize; prosecutors and courts don't fight, they just accuse and convict; prison staff don't fight either, they just enforce sentences. (by the way, such as Kid Protect organizations don't fight either, they just try to prevent with poor effect...)
If the system works justly and efficiently, there is no need for any social fight against any criminals, and they will simply think fifty times before committing any crime because of the consequences that restore dignity and Human rights to their victims. (which, not knowing why they are now entitled...)
But when doing a social campaign to fight against something, the mainstream managers know very well that some people give a pattern of "evil" in this way and simply grow this problem.

So think next time, if it is worth to support "the fight against pedophilia" and to spread, "like" and comment on how 'wonderful' and 'noble' this propaganda is. Besides, it is interesting how many of you who publicly supported this "cure for pedophilia" would shoot themselves by... in the head...?
-AND I OFFICIALLY DISAGREE WITH THIS "CURE".}

My father once asked me how I'm going to explain to the families and loved ones of people hurt by "pedophilia" to stop fighting it? And that's it: by making them aware of the indirect cause of this harm. As long as you are throwing the seeds of your hatred towards this 'deviation', you will inevitably reap the fruits of further sexual abuse and such crimes, because "fighting pedophilia" you don't attack sexual criminals, but all pedophiles (even 11/12-year-olds who are aware of their "deviation"), regardless of their current sexual activities and choices. Hate and eradicate those which harm children; not only sexually, but understand and let it be known that children can and will be attractive for many people ever - people who, because of their empathy, in the overwhelming majority will never even consider any abuse of them, even if it was accepted, as in some Islamic countries or among the elite in the Middle Ages.

You tell me this used to happen before. Of course, every era has its own criminals... But Trynkiewicz (Polish 'pattern' of "pedophilia", raped and killed two little boys) used to happen one in a decade, and how many child sexual abuses are there now a year? Stop pretending that you don't see it - "the fight against pedophilia" has its specific goals and is certainly not one of them to protect children.

Another factor that has certainly pushed many pedophiles into abuse and crime is a very common but completely unnoticed dissonance. On the one hand, "the fight against pedophilia" has built a tight wall between (foreign) adults and children. On the other hand, the common fashion is very sexualizing children, while at the same time "the fight against pedophilia" is consistently telling 'the public' their 'asexuality'{*}.

{*This is complete bullshit, if only considering the BASICS of physiology. Besides, in my opinion, in order to effectively protect children from any abuse, it is worth to understand their immature sexuality. However, "the fight against pedophilia" has become so commonly and uncritically accepted that even those who act on the side of Humanity, exposing all other common harmful mechanisms of the mainstream, the greatest and most courageous thinkers of our times, when confronted with the subject of pedophilia, are ready to testify to such nonsense...}

I will mention this 'wall' in more detail in the context of the children themselves (next chapter), but I think that each of you is still aware of its existence, whether you see its negative sides or not. But when it comes to sexualizing...

Children's fashion imposes it and I mean girls. In boys thread, it is hard for me to rate them, because in general I do not have any homosexual inclinations. Of course I love all children and I want to protect their welfare{*}, but sexual taste is not the same.

{*As the "children welfare", I understand, above all, a happy, carefree childhood, full of their parents' love and wise protection so that they don't have to grow up too early or get burned by their natural naivety.}

Shops, like "5 10 15", are filled to the brim with clothes that sexualize girls. For example, adjoining leggings or summer blouses that reveal a little bit of tummy. And the colors... Even panties (not to mention bathing suits) are usually 'sexy'... I don't want to condemn it explicitly, because I just like to look and admire this beauty, but I think it has already gone a bit too far. {*} And all that hypocrisy about it - pretending that noone see it..

{*When I looked at the girls, they used to become "butterfly" (my personal naming) somewhere like this at least five or six years old. Nowadays, I happen to be delighted with even less than three years old... Is it 'my pedophilia has deepened'? I don't think so. In my opinion, it was caused by this sexuality and many "daddy's daughters" and/or "mummy's daughters" are being made "for the deity" at more and more younger age, which, in my opinion, teaches them to perceive their own beauty too quickly and thus to show it. I don't consider myself an expert here, but it seems to me that this is quite a serious problem. Besides, the most beautiful butterflies are the ones that are the longest caterpillars... That's why it's not worthwhile to interfere with this transformation...}

Besides, back to the pedophiles. On the one hand, you are prohibiting us from expressing our sexuality in any way, you are strictly forbidding us from even normal contact with children{*}, and on the other hand you are making this forbidden beauty as visible as possible to our eyes... Most pedophiles not only don't look for contact with them, but they are even PANICKY afraid of children! -How can they be unmasked and completely destroyed socially, if they wouldn't control their gaze for a moment... For many, it becomes a kind of paranoia...

{*"Normal" is like saying hello on the street, asking for an hour or even a smile. This "wall" effectively eliminates all healthy expressions of intergenerational relations...}

And then you're surprised that some of them in such situations, left alone for life with this, simply lose their mind. They lost it by fitting into the media pattern, so of course they deserve severe punishment, but I guess it is better to prevent such situations than to punish them!? And if you want to effectively prevent, then stop invoking (summoning) the "enemy-pedophile" once and forever! Just like every other summoned phantom, this one without the invocation will lose its power to materialize...

In conclusion, I want to make you realize that pedophilia isn't terrible, disgusting, anyway... Pedophilia is not a deviation. The real deviation from Human normality is the lack of respect for the integrity and innocence of children. It's all kinds of harming them... And finally stop saying this disrespect and attribute this disrespect to [all] pedophiles, often very frustrated and with a huge sense of harm, that you have taken away their identity and you are telling them evil, which in the overwhelming majority is definitely not part of their nature.

At least not mine for sure. I haven't committed any sex crimes in my entire life. And I know for sure that I'm a classic and exemplary, child-loving and admiring beautiful little girls-pedophile...

***

Before I published this work, and even before I started writing it, I got a suggestion from several different people not to call myself a pedophile, If I don't hurt and I don't intend to hurt children. I hope that now it's clear to you why I can't give up this term - I'm just not an exception in this matter, and if it was just about me, I could actually accept that I'm not that 'monstrous'  "pedophile".

Only that if you won't change your terminology towards child abuse criminals and your attitude towards the only fascination with children's beauty, and you won't allow yourself that this is the point of this problem, then still every pedophile who grows up will have difficulty in defining, understanding and accepting his sexuality, and your children will still be threatened by those who won't cope with it.